‘SNL’s’ Leslie Jones Plans to Get Leonardo DiCaprio in Bed with a Ham Sandwich?

By K. Dowling | Jan 24, 2016 11:04 AM EST
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Saturday Night Live's Leslie Jones has the perfect plan to get The Revenant star Leonardo DiCaprio into bed. She's going to use a ham sandwich.

Now, while that might not make any sense to people who didn't see last night's episode of Saturday Night Live with host Ronda Rousey, trust us, it will soon.

Jones appeared on Weekend Update alongside Colin Jost and Michael Che. And after she was done exchanging pleasantries with Jost––calling him a "sexy ass blizzard" and explaining she wants to "plow his ass"––she went into an in depth plan on how she could "have" Leonardo DiCaprio.

And yes, it all involved a ham sandwich.

"Before today, our relationship was like Inception," she said, "Leo inside Leslie...inside a dream. But soon it won't be a dream, Colin, because I'm going to lock his pretty Aviator ass down for keeps."

How so? Well, after the two have sex––something she admits she's "crazy good" at––she'll make DiCaprio a ham sandwich after sex.

Which, honestly, is a pretty nice gesture.

Anyway, Jones' piece on Update then mocked the models of DiCaprio's past, noting that she's very well certain she has more in her refrigerator than those aforementioned bikini-clad beauties, which is something she'll also use to her advantage.

"And I'm not talking about that cheap ass lunch meat either; I'm talking about the ham you put in the oven with the pineapples. And while you in the bathroom washing your tongue off in the sink, I'll already be in the kitchen butt naked cutting ham..."

So, is anyone else hungry?

 Sometimes you just gotta make #christmasham after Christmas #oldfashionedham

A photo posted by Amesnickel (@amesnickel) on Jan 20, 2016 at 9:03pm PST

Jones was supposed to be on Weekend Update to give her review of DiCaprio's The Revenant, for which he's nominated for an Oscar in the Best Actor category. How'd she like it? She dug it! But not nearly as much as that ham sandwich idea.

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